Noir Chat Amour
by Cherry Picking Poser
Summary: Celty has accidentally turned Izaya into a cat! Shinra has painfully suggested that Shizuo take care of him, temporarily while he and Celty try to find a solution for this. What will happen with Neko!Izaya and Shizuo now?


Noir Chat Amour

It was a regular day in the busy city of Ikebukuro. No, scratch that. It was _never _regular when you see the constant brawls Orihara Izaya and Heiwajima Shizuo conjure in this city.

On this not-so-normal day, Izaya and Shizuo were having their usual fight with the throwing of street signs and a variety of switchblades on the street. As they were pummeling items at one another, Celty and Shinra have suddenly stumbled upon their fight.

Shinra sighed. "Well, those two are at it again, huh, Celty-chan?"

Celty began typing on her cellphone. **"When **_**haven't**_** we seen them in a hissy fit with each other?"**

"Although I really do enjoy watching this war commence, I'm pretty exhausted today, do you think you can do something that could stop their fight?" Shinra asked.

**"Well, let's see…" **Celty typed.

She pulled out a star studded wand from no where and aimed the wand at Izaya.

There was a large poof of smoke and it took a while for it to clear away.

As the smoke cleared off, Shizuo stood, looking stunned while balancing a vending machine on one arm, was staring at the ground.

Shinra and Celty gazed at the ground.

In the place of Izaya was a fuzzy, black cat with a golden bell attached to a red ribbon around its neck. The cat was lithe and gangly, and in place of yellow eyes, wide-eyed red eyes stared at the trio.

"WHA-WHAT THE HELL?" the cat shrieked.

"It can talk…?" Shinra murmured.

**"I'm very sorry, Izaya, but I think my plan to stop you and Shizuo's fight has backfired." **

"Why did you even interfere in the first place if this was to happen…?" Izaya grumbled under his breath.

"Did you say something, Izaya?" Shinra asked.

"Nope," Izaya replied.

_"Heh~ Since Izaya's a cat now, this will make things more easier to kill him." _

Izaya turned to Celty.

"Celty, is it possible for you to turn me back human, _now_?" Izaya asked irritably.

Celty shook her head and typed on her cellphone.

**"I'm sorry, Izaya, I really don't know how to fix this, and when I can, I'll change you back right away."**

Izaya hissed under his breath. "What am I gonna do now…?"

"Well, first things first, you need to find some place to stay," Shinra replied, him hearing the grumbling of the informant first.

"I could just go back home to my apartment as always, Shinra." Izaya noted.

"True, but you lock your doors, yes? Where are your keys?" Shinra asked.

Izaya glanced around for his clothes but they were gone, and along with his keys and wallet, too.

But he saw that his cellphone lay on the ground a few inches away.

_"Great, just great, my clothes are missing along with my money and apartment keys, what am I going to do?" _

"If you're going to look for a temporary home, I'm sorry but Celty and I won't be available and I have lots of work to finish for the next few months, so I'm pretty much booked."

_Oh, oh, oh my God, please, shine your light upon me please, just shine it on me for once let someone take me in temporarily, oh please, oh please." _Izaya prayed desperately.

"Hey, might I suggest Shizuo to be your caretaker for a while?" Shinra said, breaking the silence.

"No, _fucking _way, Shinra," Shizuo growled.

**"I'm very sure hell will be released if these two stay together for too long." **Celty quickly typed into her cellphone.

_"Ooh~ But if I stay at Shizu-chan's house, I can be able to piss him off all the time!~ How blissful would that be?" _Izaya thought. Many, many ideas of torment formed in Izaya's messed up mind.

"Let me tell you the advantages of taking care of Izaya for a while, Shizuo," Shinra said.

Shizuo cocked his head in disbelief.

"It will let you see how humans bond with animals, strengthen your domestic skills, such as cooking, taking care of others, and just plain getting along with animals," Shinra said, placing each finger down when he noted the ups for caring for Izaya.

Shizuo sighed. It was hard to turn down things Shinra suggested since he would then continue talking about all the positives of something and get all into a detailed, smarty-pants crap lecture.

"I give up, ok? I'll take him in, just shut up already," Shizuo grumbled, his deep voice almost inaudible.

"Oh?~ So Shizu-chan's actually gonna babysit me huh?" Izaya crooned.

"Only temporarily," Shinra said, warning in his voice.

**"Please don't kill him, Shizuo. No matter how bothersome he is." **

Shizuo gave off a dangerous smirk. "Oh, I'll kill him alright, mentally that is."

Shinra facepalmed himself.

_"How will this work out?" _He thought to himself.


End file.
